All about us
by Emma-face
Summary: A selection of Keffy drabbles inspired by putting my iPod on shuffle. Some fluffy, some a tad more angsty and some that are somewhere in between.
1. Slow dancing in a burning room

**I was the one you always dreamed of, you were the one I tried to draw.**

_- Slow dancing in a burning room, John Mayer _

At the end of the day when things got shit Effy would always be the one she ran to. It was wrong. It was destructive, really destructive. They were good together for a while but then they drove each other crazy. Each of them emotionally torturing the other for no reason other than because they could. Eventually they would wise up and go their separate ways again but it never lasted too long.

Something about the mysterious brunette pulled her back every time she tried to get away.

"You should move on." Effy would tell her.

"I'm not good for you. I'm not good for anyone." She would say sadly. Katie knew that what she said was more than likely true. But her heart cried out for Effy any time it was in pain. Even if Effy was the source of the pain. That was the really twisted thing.

They couldn't be together. Yet they couldn't bear to be apart. They were doomed either way. To burn if they stayed together or freeze if they chose to part.

They would choose the fire of course, in the end. Katie always knew that.


	2. Lover I don't have to love

**Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out.**

_- Lover I don't have to love, Bright Eyes_

The whole gang are at some seedy underground rave. The type of place where even the walls are sweating and the lack of lighting is to mask the hideousness of the venue rather than to create an ambiance. What was the point? Fucked up teenagers don't give a shit about ambiance. And they are nothing if not a group of fucked up teenagers.

Cook hooks them all up with some of Uncle Keith's finest powder. They're off their faces within minutes. Well except JJ but he has his own cocktail of pills to get him through the evening. Cook disappears into the crowd looking for something to shag, as usual. Freddie mopes about, contemplating whether or not it would be worth the effort trying to pull. Pandora dances uninhibited on the outskirts of the dance floor. JJ dances with her a little but he always has a watchful eye on Cook. Just in case. Emily and Naomi seem to have merged into one being. A being consisting of mostly arms and tongues. Katie is dancing near Pandora but not too close that she might be associated with such a lunatic. Effy sees her, sees the pretty coloured light surrounding her. She feels an overwhelming urge to go to her.

She wants to feel close to someone. She wants that someone to be Katie. Fuck it she just wants to feel something for a change. She sneaks up on the brunette twin, snaking her arms around her waist and moving her hips in time. They're close. Almost as close as Naomi and Emily. Katie's arms feel soft as Effy slides her hands up and down them as they dance. She moves in and kisses Katie. Hard and frantically. She needs to feel something. To feel Katie.

Katie knows this might be wrong. Definitely a bad idea. But the drugs have left her feeling somewhat horny and fuck if Effy's tongue doesn't feel good in her mouth.


	3. Pale blue eyes

**Thought of you as everything, I had but couldn't keep. **

_-Pale blue eyes, The Velvet Underground_

Effy Stonem can be _the_ most infuriating person in the entire world when she wants to be. She knows exactly how to push everyone's buttons. She knows exactly how to push Katie's buttons. She's got it perfected to the point where she can drive the twin crazy with just one look. One fucking look.

But then there are times when Effy looks at her with those crystal blue eyes and Katie can see her tortured soul. She can see the vulnerability. The girl behind the eyes that just wants someone to love her. Those are the eyes she looks at Katie with when their alone. Those are the eyes she looks at Katie with when she smiles just before she kisses her. When she looks at her with _those_ eyes it makes Katie want to keep her forever.


	4. Jessie's girl

**And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it.**

_- Jessie's girl, Rick Springfield_

I can't fucking believe she's fucking Freddie! It makes me sick to my stomach the thought of him touching her. Of him touching my Katie. I knew it would never be me. She would never be mine. She's not Emily. She's the straight twin and she makes sure everyone knows it. But why did it have to be him. He'll never be able to love her like me. He won't treat her right.

We're all out together; one of Thomas' club nights. I see them together, groping on the dance floor. I see the way she's looking at him and it kills me because it should be me. He's staring back at her like she's nothing but a fuckable piece of meat. I feel sick again. Literally this time. The bile rises bubbles up in my stomach burning through my throat. I have to get out of there.


	5. 5 years time

**There'll be love, love, love all over her face and love, love, love all over mine.**

_- 5 Years time, Noah and the Whale_

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Katie asked her girlfriend as she retouched her make up in the mirror.

"Because it'll be fun." She said without any enthusiasm.

"We both know you don't believe that." Katie raised her eyebrow at Effy in the mirror.

"Ok then how about because we promised your sister." The brunette got up from the bed and moved towards the older twin. She stood behind her and wrapped her arms around Katie's waist. Katie pursed her lips into a frown.

"So we have to go then, don't we?" She sighed.

"Pretty much." Effy kissed her neck. "I would have thought you would be itching to go to our college reunion."

"Why? Hardly the best times in my life." Katie said sadly.

"Some of them were good." Effy pointed out. If it wasn't for Roundview they may never have met.

"These things are always shit anyway." She shrugged. She still kept in touch with everyone from school that she actually cared about. The rest of them could fuck off for all she cared.

"Well Ems and Naomi don't really get out much any more and they went to a lot of effort getting a babysitter and everything so we're going whether you like it or not." Effy informed her matter-of-factly. She sighed once more for good measure then turned and smiled into the brunette chillingly blue eyes.

"At least I'll have this amazing rock to show off." She grinned wriggling her ring finger on her left hand.

"Yes you will." Effy beamed, stealing a glance at the smaller, more subtle ring on her own finger.


	6. Sweet disposition

**Ah reckless abandon, like no one's watching you.**

_- Sweet disposition, Temper Trap_

The sun poured in through the curtain-less windows of Naomi's spare room. Katie and Effy lay together in the tiny single bed, their limbs tangled and bodies intertwined. They were teetering on the verge of consciousness; no longer asleep but not fully awake yet. Katie was incredibly aware of the soft form of Effy Stonem tightly wrapped around her body. It made her want to fight to go back to sleep. So she could stay in that moment for longer. But she couldn't Opening one eye she was offended by the brightness and quickly pulled the sheet up over her face to shield her. Her movement stirred Effy from her sleep. She forced her eyes open with a slight frown that disappeared once she saw Katie's face looking back at her.

"Hi." She smiled, her voice hoarse with sleep.

"Hi." Katie softly giggled and leaned in to gently kiss the brunette.

If they could freeze one moment in time to have forever it would be this one. Not complicated. Not elaborate. Not anything. Just them.


	7. Can't fight this feeling

**I've forgotten what I started fighting for.**

_-Can't fight this feeling, REO Speedwagon_

"I can't fight this feeling any more." Effy shook her head. "I don't want to."

Katie looked up at the brunette nervously. She could see Effy wasn't the same callous girl she first met, she had changed. She was more sensitive, more sincere. She looked so vulnerable standing there chewing her lower lip anxiously awaiting Katie's response.

"Effy...I..." Katie began not knowing what to say. The feelings were certainly reciprocated. As hard as she had tried to deny it she had feelings for Effy. But she was confused. "I don't know what to do about this. I...I'm scared."

"I don't know either." Her voice cracked with emotion. "And I'm just as scared as you are. But I'm sick of pretending I don't love you."

Katie looked at her, eyes wide with shock and her heart skipped a beat. She longed to reach out to the other girl, to wrap her arms around her and tell her she felt the same but she found herself frozen. She was both startled and surprised when she felt Effy's lips press against her own. Her breath hitched and her heart fluttered. She'd never been kissed like that before. When they broke apart Effy looked at her with wary anticipation.

"Well..." Effy was cut off by Katie pulling her in for another kiss. They were confused. They were scared. But they were in love. And they were going to try to make it work so who the fuck cared.


	8. Sit down

**Those who feel their touched by madness, sit down next to me.**

_- Sit down, James_

It's the summertime and Katie and Emily somehow manage to convince Rob and Jenna to take James on holiday and leave them behind. The sun is blazing in Bristol the day after they leave. It's like the Gods are smiling on the twins. They smile deviously and share a look.

"Barbeque." They say in unison. Next thing the phones are out texting invites to everyone they know and they're attempting to wrestle the deck chairs out of the shed.

It's a civilised affair for almost an hour. The boys cook the meat while the girls bask in the sun; all of them laughing and joking. The sun erases all discontent from their lives. Then Effy produces the bag of pills. She places one on her tongue and kisses Katie, transferring the little tablet into the older twin's mouth. Katie thinks that it's definitely the best way to take pills. Around them Cook has wrestled JJ to the ground and is tickling him mercilessly, Emily and Naomi are messing around with water pistols, Emily is clearly winning because Naomi is soaked. Freddie is sitting in the deck chair by the speakers, completely spaced out, smoking a spliff with a goofy smile on his face. But Katie and Effy are completely unaware of all of this. Lying side by side on the sun warmed grass, the sensation caused by the contact between their skin heightened by the pills. They roll over, blissed out and look into each other's eyes. All they see is each other. What a perfect moment.


	9. Ghosts

**Presents her with the pictures and says these are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you.**

_-Ghosts, Laura Marling_

Everyone she has ever loved has fucked her over. Everyone. Her parents couldn't hold themselves together for long enough to show her what real love was supposed to look like. And they were too wrapped up in their own lives to lavish anyof their love on her. Tony loved her though. He held her together when she was falling apart at the seams. But then he fucked off to university without so much as a thought as to how it might affect her. He said he had to get away from that house and that's fine. But what about her? What was she supposed to do?

Freddie loved her too. Or at least he thought he did. But what he was really in love with was the chase and when it came down to the actual love and the relationship that went along with it he had found it wasn't quite to his taste. And he always expected something from her. Conversation, sex, spliff, for her to be fucking interested in the meaningless tripe he used to talk when he was off his face.

Each of these events, her parent's divorce, Tony leaving and Freddie being an asshole, they all tore away at her tender little heart until it was nothing but a bleeding misshapen lump. But it's not like that with Katie. Katie doesn't expect anything from her. Katie is just there for her. She's not selfish like Freddie or her mum and dad, only loving her when it was convenient for them. She promises she won't leave and something tells her that she means it.

So Effy talks to her. She tells her about the beatings her misshapen, bleeding lump has taken and tells her she's not sure it can love. But she wants to try. For Katie.


	10. All over me

**Taking my breath with each delicate step in my heart.**

_- All over me, Lindsey Harper_

The end credits roll on Loving Annabelle; a movie Emily insisted they had to watch. A heart wrenching lesbian love story about a romance between a teacher and student in an all girls school. It was beautiful really. Katie, who had been curled into Effy's side during the movie realises the brunette is very still and her breathing it quite shallow. She looks up to see Effy silently sobbing, big tears glistening as they fall down her cheeks carrying her dark eye liner with them. She's shocked to say the least.

"Are you crying?" She asks with a smile because, well, her girlfriend looks ridiculously cute quietly crying at the end of a soppy film. It's a side of Effy she's never seen before.

"No." She bites even though it's blatantly obvious she's lying. She's Effy Stonem. She doesn't cry. At least no one is supposed to see her crying. Especially not Katie.

"Yes you are." Katie chuckles at her adamant denial and wraps her arm around her secretly sensitive girlfriend.

"If you tell anyone I'll kill you." She swears nestling into Katie's neck. It feels nice having someone to comfort her.

"No you won't!" Katie laughs kissing the top of the other girl's head. "You love me too much."

Effy sits up to look in Katie's big brown eyes and smiles. "You're probably right." She agrees and plants a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips.

"But I will maim you." She smirks and kisses her again.


	11. Hurricane drunk

**You can't hold me down, cause I belong to the hurricane. **

_-Hurricane drunk, Florence and the Machine_

"No one breaks my heart." At least that's what I told Freddie once. Back when he thought he was in love with me. I told him I was the one who broke hearts. But that's exactly what you've done to me. Shattered my heart into a thousand pieces rendering it completely irreparable.

I try to numb the pain with alcohol. As much of it as I possibly can. I spend my night wandering from bar to bar like a ghost. It works, to an extent. I can hold myself together.

Then one night I see you in one of the bars. Of course you're with someone. An idiotic looking guy who spends more time staring at your tits than into your beautiful brown eyes. You look my direction and my already broken heart stops beating all together. But you look right though me. You continue to scan the crowd as if I don't even exist. I didn't think it was possible for it to hurt anymore than it already did but you proved me wrong.

I feel like someone has driven an ice pick through my chest shattering the battered remains of what once was my heart. I order another drink. A double.


	12. How can we be lovers?

**How can we make love if we can't make amends?**

_-How can we be lovers if we can't be friends, Michael Bolton_

This is so wrong; on like 100 different levels. You both know that but it doesn't stop either of you. Effy Stonem is the girl who smacked you in the head with a rock and left you bleeding on the forest floor. She shouldn't be the one giving you the most explosive orgasms of your life. She ruined your reputation and your life that night. She shouldn't be the one you keep hooking up with at the end of the night. The one you go running to when you feel that itch you just can't seem to scratch by yourself.

You know you should talk about this; whatever this is between you but you don't. You don't talk about anything. There's been no apologies, no explanations, nothing. It's just sex. Just really good sex. You're almost sure of it. But there are a few times when you're lying beside her, exhausted from all the fucking and you want to say something. You want to have an actually conversation with her. It's fucked up. It shouldn't work. And yet you just can't stop yourself.


	13. Hopelessly addicted

**If yesterday I heard myself saying these words I would swear it was a lie.**

_-Hopelessly addicted, The Corrs_

You've noticed that Katie has changed. It's really not that hard to see. She's no longer that shallow girl who used to follow you around school because she thought you were cool and wanted the social status that came with being associated with you. She's seen the real world now and she's better for it. Still you wish it hadn't been because of you that it all happened.

You notice things now that you couldn't see through all her pretentiousness. Like how she's actually really protective of her sister. Though she'd probably die before she let Emily know that. Or how she smiles genuinely after a bitchy back and forth with Naomi. You can't help but enjoy the fact that even though she has accepted the blonde's role in Emily's life she doesn't think it should affect the way they get on with each other.

You find yourself wanting to be around her more and more. You actually listen to what she says now instead of just ignoring it as trivial crap or idle gossip. The new Katie is somewhat more interesting to you. More intriguing. She still dresses the same though.

You start to realise you sort of miss her when she's not in the group. You find yourself looking for her in crowds. You distinguish that the twinge in your stomach when you see random guys chatting her up is jealousy. You're relieved when she doesn't seem interested in any of them. You slowly realise that you're sort of falling in love with her. God help you.

You're falling in love with Katie Fitch. Katie fucking Fitch.


	14. The fear you won't fall

**Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall.**

_- The fear you won't fall, Joshua Radin_

You feel it in every single cell in your body; they all seem to hum when you're around her. It fills every last available space in your thoughts. It consumes you sometimes; how much you love her. You've never felt this way before. You thought you would get over it. That it was just some fleeting fascination that would fade after time but it hasn't Every second you're with her is bliss. Even when she's annoying the tits off you and you could happily strangle her you know that deep down you wouldn't survive without her. That your cells would stop humming and you'd just dissolve.

But you can't tell her that. You're scared she doesn't feel the same way. Even though you can see it in her eyes when she smiles after pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You know you love her. You just wish you could tell her.


End file.
